Gary, thankfully, was released early from work. He came home and the girls and I ran out to get just a "few" last minute gifts. Of course, this required a trip to Dover and we did the WORST possible thing. We went...(DUN, DUN, DUH)...into Wal-Mart...on Christmas Eve...in Dover, DE...at 2:30 in the afternoon...without a cart (we couldn't find one!)...for "just a few things".
JUST SHOOT ME!!!!!
I HATE Wal-Mart on a good day, but on Christmas Eve? Oh my, it's hell on Earth. I won't go into the whole story, but I will say that no one should hold up a line for 32 minutes while waving 4 maxed out credit cards trying to pay their $21.44 worth of generic canned soda and chips! I don't care if you are a card carrying member of the Redneck club...or even the president! And by the way, why is it that these inconsiderate, maxed out card, canned soda and chip eating, Rednecks can't seem to find clothing that covers all of their flabby bellies? And, why is it that it seems that they can't find a shower either? I'm just saying, if you have 4 maxed out credit cards, and a shirt that hasn't met your pants in 8 years, maybe you don't need all of that soda (none diet by the way) and chips! Do you really need more grease and sugar in your diet? Just a honest question!
Ok, once we left the hell known as Wal-Mart, we headed to the-God save the queen-mall. Thankfully, the mall was really tame and fast! No problems to be had here! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We rushed home to get ready for Christmas Eve service. Now, I know that we have lived here for a year now, but I still can't seem to factor in travel times accurately. I try, I really do, but I am always about 5-15 minutes behind. (No, this isn't new since we moved, I have always been late, but what is new is that I'm really trying to get it together and NOT be late.) Needless to say, we were running late coming home from Dover. At this point, I realized that the upset tummy I started in line at Wal-Mart, a reaction to the effort of holding my tongue I thought, was getting worse, not better. Great, just great!
We get home, the girls do a great job changing and jumping back into the car, and we're off to church. We are about 8 minutes late, but I know that Gary can make some of that time up on the drive. Unless I need to stop to throw up that is. Thankfully I didn't, but I did run to the bathroom once we made it to church. Now, this church that we've been attending has a warm sanctuary...very warm according to Gary. I have to say, it's NOTHING compared to the Ladies room. That room is a sauna! Here I am, late to the Christmas Eve service, at a church we have been attending for just about 2 months, in the ladies room unsure if I'm going to toss my cookies or pass out! Just who's going to find me here in this sauna of a bathroom? I quickly leave to go back to sit in a pew with my family, praying I make it through the service. Great, just great!
I did make it through, make it home and realize that the traditional gift on Christmas Eve, the kid's Christmas p.j.s haven't been wrapped because they hadn't been delivered when I had my marathon wrapping day. I have to run upstairs and put them in boxes (I had some boxes printed with cute Christmas things, thank God) and then give them out to the kids. Ok, I should be able to do that, but oh my, I really don't feel well! Surely they will open their boxes, change into the p.j.s, let me get the picture and then go sweetly to bed, right?
Of course not! Please notice that this is a picture of the children opening the gifts, but there is no additional picture of them so adorably dressed in their p.j.s. That would be because as I line them up in front of the fireplace (where else would you take such a wonderful picture), Danny hides behind Kaylyn. I lost my temper, scream,"Would you please stand up straight so I can get this picture! I am going to vomit in about 4 minutes and I need this picture first!"
Of course, Gary is upset that I'm sick and yelling, so he yells at the kids and then we have a crying Danny. I, in my most wonderful momma voice yell,
"Danny, stop crying and smile before I throw up!".
I didn't get the picture. I did get a group of 5 upset and worried children. I now, at 9:30 at night have to run to the bathroom, can't throw up, can't leave the bathroom, but know that I have 5 kids that have had a ruined Christmas Eve. Great, just great!
I finally leave the bathroom, bin in hand just in case, and go to visit the kids to try to pick up the pieces. Of course, Danny believes that no one loves him-no one ever loves him, Collin is angry that Danny's upset, Claire and Kaylyn are sad that I'm sick and who's going to make Christmas happen if Momma's sick and by the way, will I get those gifts wrapped that we bought today, and Nathan wants to know if I'll get the 2 gifts he needs wrapped, wrapped. Gary wants me to just go to bed. I have THINGS TO DO!!!!! I CAN NOT be throwing up right now. Christmas is tomorrow! Family will be here wanting happy Christmas memories and brunch (that still needs to be made) in the morning! Great, just great!
Well, I'll end this marathon post by saying, the children finally settled, I did get everything wrapped with Gary's help, except Gary's gifts because he told me not to. I never did throw up, although I wish I had. I got to sleep with the alarm set for early so that I could get up and make breakfast. I am sure glad that I had everything under control this year!
Believe me, I'll NEVER ask what I'll do on Christmas Eve again!
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3 comments:
That sounds so sad :( but I was "laughing all the way" as I read.
So glad that we could entertain you with our very sad story! Oh well, thank God that day is over! Hope your Christmas Eve was better than ours!
Our Christmas Eve was WAY WAY WAY better than yours! the bright side says, "Next year HAS to be better!"
Don't you wish blogger could tell you when you get a new comment? Myspace does that so blogger should. Maybe there is a place for suggestions??
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